Coexisting for Dummies
by Madam Callisto
Summary: Jeff wasn't sure when he'd crossed the line of accepting insane people into his life, to needing them more than they needed him. But honestly...he didn't really care. A little something about the time when Jeff and Chang were roommates.


One of the very, very few things that Greendale Community college had managed to accidentally teach Jeffrey Winger, was that he had a shockingly high tolerance for insanity. He had no idea that he could get so used to being around a constant flood of people with tendencies bordering on homicidal, and who were at times downright psychotic. He definitely didn't think it would pretty much become the norm for him. And if you'd told him, two and half years earlier, that he would end up with friends as needy, clingy, and childish to the extreme as the friends he had, he would have probably laughed, and punched you in the face,

And then he would have brought up charges against you citing something related to emotional distress, dished out some line related to how that punch was a metaphor for the troops overseas and your face was 9/11 and he would have your ass sent to jail for suggesting something so stupid.

The point to all of that being that Jeff's current roommate was a psychotic man-child named Benjamin Chang, and for some reason it didn't bother him nearly as much as it probably should have.

These days when Jeff woke up at six in the morning to the sounds of popcorn being popped in his living room, it really didn't seem like much of a big deal. He needed an excuse to get up go jogging anyway (his glorious physique didn't maintain itself) and Chang soon became his own personal tiny human alarm clock. Though he always made sure to yell at Chang for being up so early and for cooking popcorn in front of the T.V, for the sake of appearances.******  
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These days when Jeff went to brush his teeth and found four tiny hermit crabs floating in his sink, he just filled the glass next to his sink up with water and moved the little guys out so he could brush. He didn't really have the heart to get rid of them after all. Jeff had kind of fallen in love with them. Chang had named them all Jeff...

These days, not even the smell of Chang's clothes baking in the oven (the best way to keep warm when it's cold out!) or the fact he did zumba in his underpants (because clothes were too constricting when he was feeling the rhythm) or the fact that no matter how many times he showered with Jeff's specialty shampoos and body scrubs he still smelled like bandaids, really bugged Jeff that much at all.

Except of course for the time when Chang had accidently deleted _The Biggest Loser_ from Jeff's Tivo.

That had been unforgivable.

How else was he supposed to make himself feel better about a crappy day when he couldn't sit in front of the T.V chugging down a pint of rocky-road and mocking people fatter than himself?

For his grievous offense Chang had been banished to the hallway where he'd curled up on their elderly neighbors fluffy welcome mat for the night. That is until Jeff's seventy year old neighbor had nearly tripped over the man and had come knocking on Jeff's door with Chang standing behind him like a child who had broken a window with a baseball.

With a reluctant sigh, Jeff had apologized to the old man and let Chang back into the apartment-after making him sign a written agreement to never, ever mess with his Tivo ever again. Chang had agreed with tears in his eyes and fallen asleep disturbingly fast on the couch next to Jeff as he watched _The Biggest Loser_ reruns. Jeff had been very glad for his neighbors help on that one. He'd already forgiven Chang in his mind at that point but didn't really want to seem too weak in front of him. Chang was like a shark sometimes. One drop of blood, one second of weakness and the guy was trying to soundproof the apartment with eggshell cartons.

_Not that it would really that big of a deal if he did,_ Jeff thought to himself as he began to fall asleep next to the tiny mad man. In his sleep, Chang growled and made small barking sounds that a dog might make while dreaming of chasing cats. Jeff hadn't really been able to sleep otherwise anyway. While he couldn't really admit it himself or anyone else, the insanity that seeped off of Chang-and really off of all of his friend-was like a drug for him, and way better than any sleeping pills.

These days, Jeff couldn't sleep without the faint sounds of Benjamin Chang growling like a lunatic in his sleep.


End file.
